So lovely, in fact, that I am thinking about making it part of my morning routine (instead of coffee). Tea warms my heart and very much soothes my nerves. And, now that it’s Fall, I feel it is time to break out the tea cups more often and choose bliss through a delightful cup of Earl Grey.
I, also, want to start waking up early. I don’t mean, like, early-ish; I mean, 6am. It’s Fall, as I said, and it is my favorite time of year! I guess, I just feel like I should experience as much of it as I can before it transitions into the bitterness of Winter (another love of mine, but much less so).
I bought a bunch o’ clothes today, too! Four hundred and fifty dollars worth - I know, right? Look at me #sideeyeroll. It feels nice to support myself, though, and feel like I can buy myself some wonderful new clothes. They are where I derive much of my inspiration as well as my excitement/energy for the day, so I guess, I should be taking what I wear more seriously; not silently casting it off as a sign of consumeristic materialism.
Along with my lack of writing, I have not been reading a whole bunch, either. Don’t get me wrong: I am reading WAY more than I used to - which has truly helped my sense of well-being. But, I want to read (and write) more. Perhaps, the advent of the Fall season will help. The crisp air and cooler temperatures have always centered me. And, I guess, that is an even larger argument for spending more time outdoors, and actually taking a lunch break during the work week (a daytime ritual in which I can sadly say I have not taken part since I began my job at Saks).
I think what the above rambling thoughts are trying to say is that I need to start taking care of myself, and putting my happiness ahead of that of my boss and colleagues. I am letting my job get in the way of my sanity and it is a pattern that I need to break if I am going to learn how to live a life full of joy as well as success.
And, to that point: I have been talking to Corey about my future, recently. I’ve been talking about no longer seeing fashion in my long term career goals. I know, I know: “But, it’s what you valiantly declared as your one true aspiration!” I have found through life experience, however, that it is not. Working in a buying office is fascinating, inspiring, and challenging, but it does not feed my soul. Now, I know that sounds a bit melodramatic, but I, in fact, mean that in a very logical way. Working in the fashion industry does nothing for my desire to change the world in some way, to make it better. Or, said in another way: If my job is going to cause me so much stress (because of my perfectionism), I want to do more for humanity than sell people beautiful shoes.
Instead, I want to go back to school. I want to do the part-time Master’s program at Skidmore, working for the time-being at Saks to help pay for classes and to save for the future. Then, I want to go to law school and get my Ph.D. in American Studies, eventually becoming a civil rights legal scholar and lawyer. I want to fight for the rights of women, minorities, individuals of the LGBTQA community, and anyone else who is not being given the platform to combat the inequality they are forced to endure everyday.
I don’t know…that’s just something I’m thinking about today…